The Thieves of Personal Development

Nothing is worse than having a dream for yourself and entities getting in the way to keep you from it. The sad truth is those barriers to your dreams are usually self-created.  Personal development is hindered by four main thieves operating on a daily basis within your life.

- Attitude
– Motivation
– Habits
– Time

Everything you do is a choice. With you choices is always an outcome. On another level, you could call it taking a personal responsibility for yourself. If your life isn’t flowing in the direction you wish, then perhaps it is time to dissect these four areas in a self-evaluation.

Attitude:  Accomplishing great things in your life is impossible if your thoughts and words are contrary to it. When you wake in the morning are you happy to have the new day? Has your mind closed down to the potential each day brings? Doing an attitude self-check is essential to personal growth. Without maintenance on our attitude daily, it is near impossible to embrace opportunities which bring dreams closer to reality. If you take a good look around you, you will see people stuck on auto pilot, caught up in stoic repetition. An indifferent attitude is almost worse than a bad attitude. As you grow older, it becomes even more necessary to feed your mind, wash your belief systems and do daily maintenance checks on your attitude. Being unaware of poor thoughts is a poor excuse for not being able to reach out for your dreams. Attitude accountability is reaching out for resources and self-help tools purposely. By not doing so, this thief surely will steal your joy of self-discovery.

Motivation:  Simply put, motivation is having an “iron will”. If you do not mean to do something, you won’t. You might dance around thoughts of doing something while melting away on your couch, but until you actually initiate your will through actions, it is only fluff. The hard truth is you are the biggest poser in your own life if you have no motivation to accomplish a wanted dream or goal. No one said finding motivation would be easy either. Every single person has or has had difficulties with motivation. It remains a number one challenge in personal development. There will always be the little voice inside you telling you to get motivated later. Until you make up your mind to exercise your will now, motivation will elude you, keeping it thief number two in personal growth.

Habits:  Habits keep you in your comfort zone. Habits provide security. They feel safe, whether they are good habits or bad ones.  They can also keep you from moving on into new and uncharted areas of growth. Which habits do you possess? Are they a part of your problem or part of your solution? Sometimes poor habits become so ingrained into who you are, you don’t even notice how they rob your dreams. Developing new habits that are in sync with your goals, is the key to personal development. You must emit behavior which supports the results you want. The reason they are called habits is because you do them over and over and over. To keep this thief robbing your life, you must find ways to eliminate unproductive habits.

Time:  The word speaks for itself. It is a universal container for holding all of our life meaning.  Finding time, not enough time, out of time…and to each and every human is a lifetime. This is your food for thought: at the end of your life, how will you have defined your journey in regards to time? Did you make time work for you or did you do time? Each moment belongs solely to you, to your choices and to your dreams. Respect the value of each moment life gives you for all things meaningful.

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 Achieve Your Most Elusive Goals

Everyone has something in their life that they would like to change. Some really big goals include overcoming addiction, achieving and sustaining weight loss, attaining inner peace, manifesting health, or becoming more successful. We are born to continuously expand our abilities. The beginnings of most goals are exciting. Visions of triumph flourish in the minds of those starting a path of change. Each new day brings energy to chase down the most elusive of goals.
But what if you’ve been working on manifesting the same dream for years? And one day, despite your optimism, despite the effort of applying the tools of empowerment, you realize that you have not acquired the goal which you set for yourself?

Encountering an obstacle, even a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path. We all experience despair and doubt. Times when we question the worth of what we do. Moments of temptation to give up. I have them, as does each person I work with. I would wager that everyone striving to become more than they were before, reaches a critical time of choice.
Feeling sorry for yourself is not a wrong action. What we often fail to see is the value in this pit of despair. This experience of despair is precisely what is necessary for the breakthrough to occur.

BELIEF SYSTEMS AND INTERNAL TAPES
The dark experiences of despair are not logical, nor solved intellectually. These moments of darkness mean we have brought ourselves back to the core of what we believe about ourselves. Deep painful beliefs that we would rather keep hidden from ourselves and from others. The pain of not yet achieving our goals forces us to look at what we believe to be true about ourselves. Limiting beliefs are varied, but can include the following:”Something is wrong with me.”"I never get what I want.”"I cant’ get what I want, no matter what I do. It’s hopeless.”"Who I am is not enough.”"I don’t belong.”When we are undergoing change, the realization we must make is that is it not what faces us that is the problem, but how we are reacting to it. How we react to the situation is based on our inner beliefs about ourselves. The despair is felt because you have increased inner conflict. Conflict of what you want to believe versus what you actually believe. This conflict must either be suppressed (by giving up the goal) or the conflict must be resolved (goal is attained or a new belief system becomes integrated.).It is at this very pressure point, giving up or moving forward, that allows the choice to step into a new belief about yourself or to reinforce an old belief.
Just because things seem insurmountable right now, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be following this path. It only means you are face to face with what you believe. And an inner belief system being threatened can result in a variety of symptoms, the most common being negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, low energy, panic or anxiety, or worrying about small details.

DARK PITS
With great change comes the risk of facing the darkness of what we believe about ourselves. Sometimes it’s fairly easy to face the darkness and bring light. But sometimes we fall directly into the pit. If you fall in, take a breath and know this experience has great value. You are only here because you are ready to explore and encounter a horrible idea that you have about yourself. An idea that you can’t have what you want, that your best isn’t good enough, or that no matter what you do things remain hopeless. Inside the dark hole are ideas you made up about yourself when you were a child as an attempt to explain the experience of growing up. Your spirit is hiding in the darkness, waiting for your return. So if you are in the dark pit of despair you are in a place of blessed fortune. You have reached the place in which you have hidden your spirit. Only you can choose to bring you spirit back into the light.
As you face the darkness, will you decide to heal your spirit by offering it encouragement? Will you reassure your spirit and bring new information?
Let’s say you decide to be with your darkness? Now what? You must sit with it. Sit with the pain of what this darkness represents. Yes, it feels overwhelming. Confusing, hopeless.
In the darkness there are only dark thoughts. Do not fight the darkness with more darkness (anger, frustration, threats, hopelessness…). It would only create a larger darkness.

ACCEPTANCE alone is the key.
The darkness and despair fights with all its might to keep us believing that we are weak and defective. Not because it is evil, but because we put these beliefs into place to keep our spirits safely hidden in the dark. As an adult, you now hold the key to accept the darkness, to accept all the dark thoughts, and offer it love and light. Listen to your spirit. Let it speak its words of fear. Then offer your spirit comfort and acceptance. After all, your spirit went through some pretty tough times that it deciding hiding was the only safe option. You have traveled quite a distance, only to come to a dead end.
Accept that you do not have what you want. Accept this. Not with anger, not with frustration. Simply breathe and accept.
It doesn’t matter why you are at this point. It is as it is. Now go more deeply into it. This point of transition can provide opportunity to strengthen your spirit and not let outside circumstances throw you off balance. This is a pivotal occasion to choose empowering thoughts, practice gentleness and reassurance, and reinforce your belief that you can have what you want.
Accept the experience as best you can. It will lead to insight. Acceptance of what is, even though it might feel terrifying, is the way out. Acceptance is not apathy. Use acceptance to allow you to go deeper.

A journal, a therapist, or a trusted friend may help as you sit with these questions:
1. What am I experiencing right now?
2. What are my thoughts concerning this experience?
3. What am I feeling?
4. What do I believe about myself, my place in the world, as I encounter this dead end?
5. Is this similar to how I felt in certain situations as a child?
6. What does my spirit need to feel safe and trusting?
7. If I was wise and loving, how would I comfort myself?

WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
Go forward or give up? There are no wrong choices.
At this point of transition, do not force yourself. Do not inflict judgment upon yourself. Realize that you have invited yourself to question an essential belief you hold to be true about yourself. Maybe the time is right to sit with this; maybe the time is not yet right. If it is your destiny to allow yourself to have what your goal represents, you will create the opportunity once again.
Relax. Recognize how terrifying this moment is and find compassion for yourself.
What path should you choose? Carlos Castaneda wrote in, “The Teaching of Don Juan”, “Does the path have heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has heart and the other doesn’t. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.” Perhaps the real transition at this choice point is the courage to open your heart to yourself as you witness yourself experiencing what you fear most.

SITTING WITH WHAT IS
To move through this doubt and despair, sit with what you feel. Speak the words of frustration and anger. Write them down. Often times what we most need is someone else to allow us to fully be in a place of utter hopelessness. For them to say, “I see you there, and it’s okay.” And to know they won’t attempt to fix it or make it better.
We need to offer ourselves the same compassion. To look at ourselves in our moments of despair and say, “It’s okay that I feel this. It’s okay that I am experiencing this.” To offer ourselves the love and compassion of not trying to fix ourselves.
If confusion is what you feel, fully feel confusion, with love for yourself as you feel it. Open your body and let confusion in and expand within you.
Experiment (with a therapist if this is too difficult) with not being afraid of your own emotions.
Avoid the temptation to retreat into old patterns of starving, overeating, bingeing, or numbing out with other addictions. The fact that you are feeling such confusion is not a sign of failure. This is a sign of growth and courage.
Even though the feelings are difficult, recognize the value of being exactly where you are. Attempt to be with your feeling without judgment. Feel what you feel with acceptance. Accept that you are experiencing despair, hopelessness or frustration. No need to judge it. No need to defend it. No need to analyze it and figure out where this came from. It is acceptable to feel misery. It is acceptable to want to give up. We’ve all felt that at times. Your task at this critical point is to find a way to open your heart and receive to your own despair. Cry the tears, shout the anger, and give witness to the unfairness of it all.
Then decide. Even though you are at a dead end, what can you do right now?
It might seem so much easier to go back to food, bingeing, alcohol, starving, exercise, or diversions for comfort. But is that what you really want?
Refocus your thoughts away from the future and bring yourself back to right now. Bring words of power and encouragement. “I possess the gifts of inner belief, patience, conviction and discipline. I can choose my goals and I have the strength and stamina to reach for them. I am a working and viable part of the world and I have an important job to do. I am not afraid to believe in my inner strength or my power.”

GREATER FAITH
As I continue on my journey, I have learned that achieving greater faith is an ongoing journey, and not just a one step process. Each of us has many limiting belief systems within that must be faced, accepted, and released. Faith in anything, including myself, is an infinite and ever expanding experience. There is a passage in Betty Eadie’s book, “Awakening the Heart” where she describes faith as an ongoing process. First we have knowledge. Then belief. We practice belief over and over again, and eventually faith begins to develop. Whether you are talking about faith in a god, or faith in yourself, it is not something you wake up with one day. At least that is not my experience. It takes going back to the dark places to re-establish faith. Learning to be kind to our spirit that may be scared, stubborn, and even defiant.
Although it is painful and we may desperately want to run from what we feel, only by sitting with our spirit that is hiding in the darkness and bringing it love that we can re-establish faith.
I have often wished at times it weren’t so. It is excruciatingly painful to uncover what hurts within us. But we eventually discover truth: it is only our own misconception, our own belief, our own judgment and punishment, that we are not worthy.

The reward is deciding, to our amazement, that it really is okay to open our own heart to all aspects of our self.

Thank you for reading our article for more information
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Change Your Thinking. Change Your Life.

Have you ever given up on a dream because you’ve listened to that ‘little voice’ in your head that tells you that you ‘can’t do it’ or ‘what’s the point?’ That inner voice is the critic inside of everyone that causes many bright futures to come to a screaming halt. Just like the mommy who freaks out when little Johnny runs with a stick, your inner ‘mom’ worries and frets over new challenges that arise, very often creating enough doubt to make you believe you can’t do it, whatever it may be.

There are times when listening to your ‘gut’ comes in handy, but for the most part, what is perceived as a gut reaction is simply fear of failure or rejection before the event even takes place. How can you squelch your inner critic so that you can move on and build the business that you dream of?

According to Jennie England’s article ‘Make Friends with Your Inner Critic’ from the direct sales resource ‘Build It Big’, there are steps you can take to transform your critic. First, listen to your inner voice and make a list of what you hear, elaborating on how you feel about each. Ms.England says that you should choose a response to what your critic tells you, and make a choice to ignore the negative. Remember to reaffirm your best qualities daily and you will ‘reprogram’ yourself to take your critic’s suggestions as positive messages rather than constant negatives.

There is a concept that is finding a huge following with work at home people or people who simply desire to create a positive life of abundance. Although this idea is in no way new, the Law of Attraction is changing the lives of people in amazing ways. Whether you’re a religious person or not, the basics are simple, you attract what you think. This theory too is another direction to follow for achieving your dreams and not allowing negativity to lead your life.

Choosing to challenge your ‘little voices’ and change your negative thinking will have an impact on every aspect of your life, creating positive habits that even your worst inner critic can’t bring down.

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Control Your Own Level of Motivation

When I first mention this to most people, they really don’t get it, so here is a simple formula for keeping your moods upbeat.

Audio books and music can be used as tools for motivation. The audio book is such a great motivational and learning tool, while you are commuting, or just out for a drive by yourself. I mention “by yourself” because, ideally, you should spend quality time with people in your car.

You can learn so much about life and a self-improvement audio book can keep you motivated all day long.

When I first started listening to audio books it was during commuter traffic through Providence and Boston. I would show up to meetings relaxed, with fresh ideas, and motivated. When people asked me the secret, I told them about the magic of audio books.

Most of them never asked me again, thought I was some strange eternal optimist, and never bothered to try an audio book.
Unfortunately, many people are slaves to stress, and don’t want to change anything. They go about their lives with a perfect recipe for a heart attack and high blood pressure.

Here is the ultimate recipe for a very sad and short life. You must combine “running late” to work, high volume traffic, the daily latte, a high stress job, and show up barely on time or late.

Some people are, what I call, “mad at the world.” They drive from one intersection to the next, making gestures at everyone. Some of these people can be helped, while others go through a daily cycle of frustration and even invite violence.

Now, let’s get back to you. As long as you stay aware, you have control over your motivation, moods, and level of optimism. So, take charge by plugging yourself into positive energy with books, audio books, music, and positive people.

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Benefits of Using Business Development Adobe Documents

Business development can be a daunting and challenging venture. Business development refers to the development of or growth of businesses. Most often, business development coaches are hired by individuals who would like to start a business. These individuals must often choose from unaccredited business development coaches, or less effective and inexpensive business development training packages due to a lack of funds as they start their business. One way that business development coaches can lower their fees for these individuals and make business development more accessible is by cutting their own costs of the business development training, such as documents and worksheets.

The best way to cut your costs as a business development coach is through business development adobe documents. There are many assessments, worksheets, and homework assignments that must be completed by the individual seeking business development training. Using business development adobe documents can save your business money on this document production. Then, the business development coach can pass those savings on to their newer clients.

There are many advantages to using business development adobe documents. First, you save money on document production. By using an inexpensive document server, you can share your business development adobe documents with your clients without the cost of printing or copying many worksheets, assessments, and homework assignments for each client. The business development adobe documents are placed on the document server by the business development coach. Then, the client can access these business development adobe documents by a given username and password, given upon payment. The client can print the business development adobe documents on their own, without the need for you to email the files individually, or the need to make copies for in house consulting.

One of the great advantages to using business development adobe documents is that the client will be aware of what is coming in their business development training by viewing the available business development adobe documents on the document server. This prepares the client for the next business development training session. By being prepared to discuss the topic, with the adobe documents completed and ready, the sessions can be shortened and more productive.

Another one of the advantages to using business development adobe documents over word processing documents is the ability to lock various portions of the document, while leaving other portions to be manipulated. In other words, the business development adobe documents can be created as forms that can be filled out, while the forms themselves cannot be changed. Also, you can easily create assessments as business development adobe documents, through the effective use of check boxes and radio buttons.

In a society where training most often happens over the internet rather than face to face, the use of business development adobe documents is a great way to maintain streamlined training with ease. With a document server, the business development adobe documents can be shared with clients to save time and money on document production. The up to date business development coach should seriously consider using business development adobe documents.

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How to Develop a Positive Attitude

When it comes to your quality of life, attitude is everything!  In fact, it could even be said that whatever you focus on the most, you tend to bring into your life, whether by choice or circumstance.  Have you ever known someone who had a terrible attitude?  Perhaps they were extremely negative and pessimistic and not much fun to be around; or they complained non-stop about how terrible their life was.  Did you find it draining to be in their presence?

A negative attitude will not only make you miserable, but everyone around you too!  

A positive attitude, on the other hand, turns you into a person that everyone wants to be with; a person that constantly experiences great things, and a person who loves their life!  Do you want to be that kind of person?  If so, read on for some easy ways to develop a positive attitude.

1) Do what you love.  This applies to hobbies and fun activities, but it also pertains to one of the biggest parts of your life – your work!  Do you enjoy your job?  Are you spending most of your time on something that makes you feel purposeful and fulfilled?  If not, consider exploring other career options and moving toward a job you’ll love.  When you regularly do things that make you happy, you can’t help but feel better about yourself and your life, which fosters a positive attitude.

2) Expect the best, always.  It’s easy to get into the habit of seeing doom and gloom in every situation, but doing so keeps you forever focused on the negative.  Instead, make a conscious decision to expect the best, even if your first impulse is to think negatively.  Affirm as often as you can, “This is going to work out great!  Wonderful things are going to happen today!”  The more you do it the more you’ll begin to believe it, and the more you’ll begin to experience just that.

3) Build yourself up.  Think and speak positively to and about yourself every day.  Most of us are in the habit of talking down to ourselves, which leaves us feeling hopeless, frustrated and pessimistic.  Get into the habit of building yourself up with positive self-talk and positive thoughts.  Affirm your good qualities and downplay your negative qualities.  Affirm that you are a work in progress; not perfect but great nonetheless!

4) Build others up.  As often as you can, make an effort to encourage, support and compliment the people you encounter each day.  That goes for people you know as well as strangers you meet in your daily travels.  The more you focus on emphasizing the positive in others the more likeable you’re going to be, and the better you’re going to feel about yourself too!

5) Think strength.  The more you worry about your weaknesses and “failures” the more pessimistic and negative you’re going to feel.  Instead, consistently affirm your strengths, talents and capabilities.  You’ll end up feeling empowered and in control of your circumstances, which cannot help but improve your attitude!

Thank you for reading our article for more information
please visit us at  personaldevelopmentcoaching.net
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